Letter From A Desparate Housewife

[Mikey]

Letter From A Desparate Housewife



Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from
Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in
overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,
which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance
9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs such as NHL 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs
4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning
2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running
Nagging 5.3 to solve these problems, but to no avail.

What can I
do?

Signed
Desparate.
__________________________________________________
_____________

Dear Desparate,
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend
5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating
system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTIV and try to
download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
then automatically run applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers
3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above applications can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy
Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a
very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly
Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install
Mother-in-Law 1.0 ( it runs a virus in the background that will
eventually seize control of all system resources ).

In summary,
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional
software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Tech Support