AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

[Here Fishy Fishy]

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[b]AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S
LIST PERSONALS AD[/b]

[b]To the Guy Who Tried to
Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.[/b]

[b]Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43
a.m. E.S.T.[/b]

[b]I was the guy wearing
the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you
pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked
for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come
across this rather important message.[/b]

[b]First, I'd like to
apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your
pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that
cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I
just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber
Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a
shoulder holster for it that very evening. [/b]

[b]Obviously you agree
that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't
it?![/b]

[b]I know it probably
wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm
sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes,
cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to
your buddies to come help mug us again].[/b]

[b]After I called your
mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire
episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as
those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy
with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely
grateful![/b]

[b]I gave your shoes to a
homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet.
[That made his day!][/b]

[b]I then threw your
wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I
broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the
car.[/b]

[b]Earlier, I managed to
get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
mentioning President Obama as my possible target.[/b]

[b]The FBI guy seemed
really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number
etc.).[/b]

;[b]In a
way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of
retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened
crime.[/b]

[b]I wish you well as you
try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only
hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the
career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. [/b]

[b]Remember, next time you
might not be so lucky. Have a good day![/b]

[b]Thoughtfully yours,
Semper Fi,[/b]

[b]Alex[/b]

[i][b]probably
don't have to ask you to forward this one.. This was
priceless![/i][/b]

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[BigZ]

That makes me so proud.